About

Why We Roast

We punch up, not down. We laugh first, learn second, and season everything with liquid smoke-flavored snark.

About the Presenter, and Artist (or the Jerk)

Alan Just is a real artist — or at least, that’s what the museum ID badge says.

He’s definitely not bitter. Nor does he judge the artistic mediocrity of others while tending his partner’s tomato plants, growing mushrooms, and pretending not to check his site traffic hourly.

This site is a celebration of failure, ego, and unjustified confidence. It’s a shrine to every artist’s delusion that they’re doing something revolutionary by painting a smear of undignified intent on a gray background.

“I’m not here to make friends. I’m here to make meaning. And jokes.”

If you’re confused, you’re not alone. That’s the point.

Raised vegetarian, now an omnivore. Portrait painter. Package designer. Philosopher of flatwater kayakers and abandoned dreams. His work often sits somewhere between the sublime and WTF! — sometimes intentionally.

He thinks in pictures but is cursed to explain them with words — a cosmic joke that makes every artist statement feel like describing color to someone who’s never seen light.

This site, Artists Are Jerks, is both a confession and a roast. A sandbox for mocking the ego-driven chaos of the art world while also participating in it — gleefully, hypocritically, earnestly.

“The message is the medium, and I mostly use sarcasm.”

He currently lives in Southern Oregon, where forest fires, F-150’s (pickup trucks) and weed are plentiful.